The other evening I was feeling the energetic turbulence of my past traumas coming around full circle; this time however, I had a better grasp at what was actually happening and instead of allowing my Story Mind to fixate on the Karmic Entanglements from the past circling back to simply weave through, I allowed the waves of mental trauma to flow through me…
….even though I was in a state of lower energies and mental instability I knew that what I needed was Water Magic and few Tree Elders help ground ones internal waters as The Willow Tree, so I packed my bag and rode my bike to her and the Lake immediately after my Children had left for the day.
There is this one specific spot that I have been frequenting because from my own experiences it was good magical practice to repeatedly revisit Natural Places and especially Trees or specific Allies you might be attempting to forge relationships or alliances with on ones own Sacred Heart Quest. Interestingly enough, I had noticed that though this spot was never occupied by others that my own presence tended to invite others to take notice that it was in fact a “Beautiful Spot” and so one of the things I had been doing in alliance with the Faerie was leaving offerings or Witch Craft Creations behind so to better infuse their Essence into these more urban locations.
I couldn’t find ANY information on the magickal properties of Purple Flowering Raspberry, even though there’s a plethora of information on other species of this Plant Ally, so I had been using them intuitively on my own and gifting dried petals to friends to allow their Magick to flow through numerous Sacred Viewpoints. This ensured a more accurate discovery of its truer Plant Medicine. So far I knew that it was connected to the Heart and Crown Chakra and I felt a strong pull to bring it to Willow with some Beech Leaves and White Rose.
This particular Willow is aging and it’s not the healthiest, so I wanted to bring forth Beech’s Queen Essence and youth to this Faery Tree Elder on the water. Last time I had been with her I had done a small offering to the MerFolk and Water Faeries and to my pleasant surprise there was a Willow Wand awaiting my very arrival at the altar I had left.
Give and thou shall receive was a very accurate Universal Truth, for no one can truly give unconditional love if one can not receive it as well. The Water Fae were really teaching me how to RECEIVE and Willow was a Tree that had only JUST started opening up to me last year, Beech only this past winter, so I was still very much in an alchemic dance with both of them and was interested in how my gifts wound manifest through them the next time I visited.
I really enjoy the Water Element and find that out of all the witchcraft I do in my daily experience, that Sea Witching felt the scariest because of the sheer force and power of it in the Dark Divine Feminine aspects I had kept hidden under the cloak of masculinity for my entire life journey without realizing.
Willows ever-presence near the waterbodies I visited supplied me with a very nurturing Grandmother feeling in a Crone Essence I had just never experienced with any other Tree Elders. So the discovery of what appeared to be a fallen “stick” to most observing eyes was quite the Sacred Gift for me on my Heart Open Quest. Sigh, ahhhh Willow!!!
It was such an honour when a different Willow Elder had invited me into her in August of last year. I had waited sooooooooo long for what I now referred to as “The Shift” in almost every Tree I had ever explored authentically, there came this pivotal moment; no words could ever articulate this deep Inner Resonance within the Souls frequency, but it was definitely a shift. It was an Opening to the Trees higher dimensional wisdoms and Willows just did not resonate with my energies until my Wounded Hero fell out of the Hemlock last year and my Inner Raven Sight exploded. This confirmed others interpretations of “her” Essence as holding more Yin, as my inner Yang was finally no longer “Running the Show” and so late last Summer this shift happened with Willow and I just KNEW her so much deeper and in turn that allowed me to know my Self deeper too.
Anyway, I was honoured to say the least because whenever this shift happened that meant I was free to Move Magick with them in their energetic streams and that was one of my most favourite things to do! Nature’s Magic was such a lovely treat for my Human experience but it was a Devotional Responsibility for my Fae Soul. This was what healing the Faery Accord in the modern day/Normie Land was ALL about! One had to essentially find a deep Inner Union within the Sacred Human Vessel… and while others weaving the New Earths rebirths of these Avalonian Codes through Arthurian Legends, I had taken my own route, as I often did; never wishing to follow the crowded spaces of the Earth….
Essentially I had found a “loop hole” let’s say and within it I saw how I could choose to ascend my original Soul Mission Path and legit chose another one! lol FREE WILL WAS LEGIT!!! and conscious Free Will was even better…. I took this path because I SAW this option reflected to me in one other: Enter Mark Von Gowland.
You know I am actually kinda surprised his name just came into the new pages of my current Faerytale. Right away my chakras felt sick like I shouldn’t give him any pages or any power in my present life experience. However, the truth is this: Mark was never truly in The Story Series. My own projections of Self and the Masculinity that needed to die inside me were. Those Karmic pages led me right back to myself and unfortunately to the very Conscious Predator that had sold me a Fairytale inside a toxic love affair to begin with. So Mark really had nothing to do with it; he was simply a Muse to my Demon and this allowed me to Self Actualize one of the most painful realizations I’ve ever had to face:
…realizing I had lived they Storyline the Original Narcissist had sold me not once, but twice as I re-enacted an overly dramatized version of it in my own fucking embodiment of the projection of the same trauma. Included in this re-enactment were all the projections of some pretty POLAR Core Wounds of each chakra with an emphasis on the Eve/Rape wound of the Earths Core. Talk about a Bitch Slap…
Anyway, stay with me, Willow WILL come back into play I assure you. So… Mark, yes fuck, let’s call him “The Mark” henceforth because truthfully that’s really all he was: the point of no return. He essentially acted like the reflection or “Place Holder” I needed in order for me to reach the very position I am in today. Which is what I was wishing to explain to you: He reflected me a different option; The Self. He was also a Divine Masculine embodiment DOING THE INNER WORK and I truly saw that in him once my Sacred Viewpoint wasn’t staring at him with all my own Inner Villains projections.
This reflection helped me to see that others were Questing outside of this ridiculousness and because he was embodied as a masculine, it gave me a Point of Reference to truly dive deep into what it meant to unconditionally love a Man. “The Mark” really helped me to SEE a different way and I said “Fuck it!” to the Twin Flame Narrative I had agreed to with the Warrior Angels and the task of raising “The Fallen” and rose above that Karmic Story-Weave to the one I am currently traversing: which seems like a tale for another time. Anyway, I was grateful to be where I was now: EXITING THE OLD and Consciously Weaving the New 🙂
So back to my evening with Willow…
… I was aware that this past trauma that was circling through me was rooted within the Earths Core Rape Wound.. not only because of my impulsive Demonic Force emailing that past perpetrator that I wished death upon him, but also because as I approach another New Willow Elder… there was physical evidence that I was coming Full Circle and reclaiming not only The Crone within but that this was INDEED the Narrative “Twin Flames” were feeding off of each other in because I found a bone with Willow and Willow was the Tree connected to the “below the belt” Twin Flame loops that subconsciously had everyone’s Inner Narcissist and Inner Co-dependant Empath feeding off each other under the Illusion that THAT was “True Love” …
At least I KNEW what Love was not. At least I KNEW what Love meant to me. At least I KNEW I had zero desired to be with some Twin Flame or “Perfect Love” ridiculousness. I was HEART OPEN and IN LOVE….
….was I still scared to receive unconditional love? Of course! but Joel was helping me with that and I had officially booked my trip to Salt Spring Island and we were both aware that we were reflecting the Gender Wound of Unconditional Love to one another and that our task was simple: Open & Allow.
It seems easy when it’s written and for the most part it really was. To be completely honest it was a cool reflection to have and I enjoyed removing any false storylines, attachment or ridiculous romantic projections out of our purely beautiful connection. When I got down to it I hardly knew the Hobbit and he hardly knew me and just because someone is the opposite sex doesn’t mean one had to project all their romantic fantasies onto them. I feel kinda weird even writing it out like this because even THIS feels like energy I just don’t want in our connection: I dispel any attachments to Salt Spring Island and allow Willows Essence to keep the lines clear and unconditional in nature 🙂 EDIT: I remove that projection from the Hobbit. Gender neutralized Ma-Ho
Anyway, I ended up truly embodying my fullest Heart Open Truth with Willow at the public beachfront to alchemize the Earth’s Raping and finally felt like that Vampiric Human was alchemized with my Inner Faery and Fae Soul 🙂 This completion of Inner Alchemy was reflected to me in my physical experience as numerous individuals SAW Willow through my own unique expression. They asked not about me or my “dance” this time, they asked about the TREE and that just made my Heart and Soul feel so full of love. One person asked me if there was a special magic or power in the Willow Elder, another asked how old I thought it was, more and more people just glanced up into the canopy of all her majesty and I just found myself FINALLY being able to articulate my truth to the Normies 🙂
That was a huge sign for me that I had FINALLY landed inside my Human. A place I had never wanted to land before. Being a Fae Soul and living inside a Human was something that I’m sure lots of people can tell you sucks. Humans are all capable of corruption and since I had seen how unconsciously and indirectly this misalignment had caused me to destroy the very Faery Accord Agreements I had set out to mend on my own Heart Quest, it allowed me to forgive myself and others for their humanity.
Moving Magic with Willow and doing ceremony publicly (with most still hidden as that IS the trick to Magick…it could never all be known) really helped me bridge the two realms within myself and I found my heart felt more open than it ever had before.
I left to return home feeling quite proud that I had transformed past trauma into a ray of Light shone on Willow and all her Faery Magicks. I was so happy to not “put on a show” nor fear receiving that outsider attention; my Inner Hero was no longer wounded and my Villain was aligned in service to the Heart…
…. I believe this is the place within ones story that indicates a New Chapter was now at hand.
Until next time,